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The sixth episode of season 2. Enjoy!

ScriptEdit

  • (Rack, NH and US are in a waiting room at a vet.)
  • Rack: I'm really disappointed in you, NH. How dare you be so neglectful to your hygiene and have fleas?! You're not getting any squirrels for a week or no dessert for a week!
  • NH: What?! No! I swear, it was US's collection that gave me them! I've never had fleas!
  • (A flea is heard.)
  • NH: Stop moving!
  • US: Wow NY, I didn't know you swore.
  • NH: Never mind that! Why do you even have a collection of them in the first place?!
  • US: So I can train them to carry and walk for me when they're grown up, duh.
  • NH: ........Why do I even bother speaking to you..........
  • Rack: Either way, you've been bad doggie and now I'm gonna lose a lot of money thanks to this!
  • NH: You and your needs. Let's just get this over with.
  • Secretary: (chewing gum, unenthusiastic tone): Alright, R-rock?
  • Rack: It's Rack.
  • US: No, it's Raclk.
  • Secretary: Whatever. Dr. Bumlips is here and you're up.
  • Rack: Okay, thanks!
  • (Rack yanks NH and they walk out.)
  • Secretary: Whatever.
  • (Blows bubble gum and it pops.)
  • US: I'm bored. Can I wreck this place?
  • Secretary: Whatever.
  • US: Wooooooooooo!
  • (US starts ruining the office.)
  • Secretary: Darn it! Out of gum! Eh, I'll just chew on my pen.
  • (The secretary chews on pen.)
  • (Cut to Rack and NH.)
  • NH: That was pointless.
  • Rack: Hm...... I wonder which door............
  • (Rack opens the first door. The Old Man and a veterinarian is in there.)
  • Veterinarian: Wow, you're one of my greatest patients!
  • Old Man: Thank you very much! You know, there should be more people like you! People like you are a rare find these days! Why back then there was people like you who were so nice and gave compliments.......
  • Veterinarian: I take it back.
  • Old Man: You little trickster! You got me there for a second! Forget what I said, you're just like the scum of today! Why I never....
  • (Rack closes it.)
  • NH: Can we please stop giving pointless characters parts?
  • Rack: Perfect! Dr. Bumlips!
  • (Rack opens the door.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: There you two are! What took you so long?
  • Rack: The secretary didn't tell us which door.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Yeah, she has a tendency to do that. Anyway, let's start the check up!
  • NH: (unenthusiastic): Yay.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Hey little guy. Want a lollipop?
  • NH: No, but I'll have your hand!
  • (NH bites his hand. It turns out Bumlips's hand is mechanical.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Ha ha! Nice try, buddy! But I learned from last time! Let's see how your bite is.
  • (Bumlips scans it on his computer.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Wow! That is one huge bite!
  • NH: Keep toying with me and I'll show you a bigger one.
  • Dr. Bumlips: That's cute! (Ruffles his hair, many fleas come out)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Oh my! You have quite a lot of fleas!
  • NH: Thank you, Mr. Exposition.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Looks like you're gonna need a flea dip.
  • NH: NOOOOOOO! ME NO LIKE WATER!
  • Dr. Bumlips: It'll only be a quick sec!
  • NH: Try three hours.
  • (Three hours later.)
  • NH: See?
  • Dr. Bumlips: Alright, done!
  • NH: Finally.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Now let me see your fur. Oh my, you have very messy fur.
  • NH: NO! DON'T TOUCH IT! I LIKE IT THIS WAY!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Sigh....... another one afraid of water......
  • (Later.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Wow, nice strong tail.
  • NH: Stop looking at my fanny, you sick twisted parasite of a human!
  • (Later........again. NH now has a cone on.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Well the check up's done. I must say you're dog is in bad shape. This cone will help him heal and get those nasty fleas off.
  • Rack: Bad doggie!
  • Dr. Bumlips: But it's not just his fault.
  • Rack: Huh?
  • Dr. Bumlips: It is your responsibility to care for him, clean him and keep him healthy. You have been very neglectful as an owner. In fact, you're the most neglectful owner I've seen.
  • (NH blows a raspberry.)
  • Rack: Well..........
  • Dr. Bumlips: Exactly, there's no excuse. It's not too late, though. He still has a strong tail and bite, although his teeth could use some toothpaste.
  • NH: Lies! (NH uses toothpick on teeth, his teeth break)
  • Rack: I promise you Dr. Bumlips, I'll take better care of him!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Excellent. Now, where's my 9,000 dollars?
  • Rack: I'll give it to you later.
  • (Rack and NH walk away.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Huh, they're the first patients that didn't make fun of my name.
  • (Cut to Rack and NH.)
  • Rack: I am so sorry, NH. To make it up to you, how about I send you and US to apologize to each other?
  • NH: Why not? My life can't get any worse.
  • Rack: Okay. (Rack gets phone and calls US) Hello?
  • US: (answers with a purple sock): Yo yo yo.
  • Rack: So, would you like to hang with NH and apologize to him?
  • US: Yeah, sure, whatever. I should spend more time with NY.
  • Rack: Good, it's settled!
  • (Rack hangs up.)
  • Rack: NH, US agreed to spending time with you and apologizing!
  • NH: (unenthusiastic): Great.
  • Rack: I'll call you once she gets here!
  • (Rack goes in the house.)
  • NH: Great, I'd rather spend time with Rig.
  • (Rig jumps out of a bush.)
  • Rig: Hi!
  • NH: Spoke too soon........
  • Rig: NH, what's the circle-y thing on your head?
  • NH: The humans call it a cone. I call it a Circular Heavy Torture Device.
  • Rig: Wait, so it's an ice cream cone?
  • NH: No!
  • Rig: Lemme eat it!
  • NH: No! Wait, yes! Eat this off of me!
  • Rig: Okie dokie!
  • (Rig bites the cone. Her teeth break.)
  • (A few hours later.)
  • NH: Who knew you could regenerate your teeth?
  • Rig: Huh? I thought everyone can do that!
  • Rack: Oh NH! US is here!
  • NH: (unenthusiastic): Wonderful. I'd rather be neutered.
  • (US drives in her purple car, crashing in Rack's garage, breaking it.)
  • Rack: That's okay. It was getting messy in there anyway!
  • US: Ready to go on a trip, NY?
  • NH: No.
  • Rack: He said yes! Go in there, doggie.
  • (Rack drags NH, throwing him in US's car.)
  • Rack: Have fun you two!
  • (US drives away.)
  • NH: ........Why does everything you have have purple on it?
  • US: Because purple is my life. And who are you, and what have you done with NY?!
  • NH: It's me, idiot. (Takes it off)
  • US: I refuse to believe it!
  • NH: Just forget it. (Puts it back on)
  • US: So where do you wanna go, bro?
  • NH: Somewhere where you aren't.
  • US: Really?! I wanted Wendy's too!
  • NH: Blegh! I hate fast food!
  • US: No way! I love skinless potatoes too!
  • NH: I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.
  • (Later. US is eating a lot of food.)
  • US: (Talking with food in her mouth): And then Dep said, "How come I haven't appeared much lately?" and then I said "Because no one cares about you." and then he cried and went to the bathroom! Isn't that funny?
  • NH: Why did you order so much?
  • US: Because I still have sweet, greasy and artery clogging food to feed me later when I get hungry again, duh!
  • NH: Of course.
  • (Later.)
  • US: So, I'm bored. Let's do something.
  • NH: How about you do something and I do my own thing?
  • US: Whatevs.
  • NH: (thinking): What should I do to get out of this? I know! Rig! Uh, whoops! (talking): Rig!
  • US: Bro, Rig is itter!
  • NH: Not really. She's annoying.
  • US: I knew you'd agree with me! Whatever you said.
  • (Silence occurs.)
  • US: So............. darn, you're so boring to have a convo with, total offense.
  • NH: Why are you driving in heels?
  • US: Why are you barefoot? Answer me that, doggie!
  • NH: Never mind. You know, I think you're annoying.
  • US: Whatevs, be that way, stranger.
  • NH: I'm not a stranger! I'm NY, er, NH!
  • US: Whatevs. How about you stop having a nasty attitude and start being nice to me? I've been trying to be nice to you the whole time and all you're doing is being a.......... wait, I can't say that?
  • Censor: No.
  • US: Darn! As I was saying, you're being an itter, and not the good kind!
  • NH: Well maybe if you weren't so lazy or annoying I wouldn't be an itter.
  • US: I have a reason, bro. Being pregnant makes you very tired and weak.
  • NH: Oh yeah, I entirely forgot you were pregnant.
  • US: That's it, bro!
  • (US and NH tackle each other, and the car crashes into a tree.)
  • US: Of course, I came out without a scratch.
  • (NH is in pieces.)
  • NH: It's a good thing kids' shows don't show blood.
  • (Later. NH is normal, walking with US.)
  • NH: Great driving. If I wasn't a cartoon, I would be dead.
  • US: Enough of that sarcasm! See, every time I try to be nice to you, you keep acting like this! Can you at least be nice to me once?!
  • NH: I don't know. It depends on what idiotic thing you'll do next.
  • US: You know what I hate about you? You always leave your darn fluffy fur in my car! It's so gross!
  • NH: Oh, that's accidental.
  • (NH winks.)
  • US: Want more of this?
  • NH: More of what? Your stupidity?
  • US: Fine, forget it. How about we talk about......... Raclk?
  • NH: You mean Rack? He's so annoying.
  • US: I know, right? He never stops calling me or leaves me alone. Such a stalker.
  • NH: And he keeps feeding me kibble, and he knows I hate that.
  • US: Yep, Raclk is very annoying. No denying it.
  • NH: He's even more annoying than you.
  • US: Who isn't more annoying than Raclk is the question?
  • NH: Well, at least that's one thing we all agree on.
  • US: Yeah.
  • NH: You know, you're not as bad as I thought, but I'm still going to kill you.
  • US: Wait, what?
  • NH: Nothing. Let's stop talking about this before this gets educational.
  • US: Yep.
  • (Later. NH and US are walking home.)
  • US: Ugh, finally! My legs were getting tired!
  • Rack: There you two are! Did you apologize?
  • NH: Are you kidding?! This isn't some cheesy sitcom!
  • Rack: Oh. Well, get inside NH.
  • US: See ya later!
  • (NH gets inside.)
  • NH: You thought me and US will act different now? Ha! We'll still act the same despite this episode.
  • Person: Spoiler!
  • NH: Eh, they had to find out sometime.
  • THE END.

CreditsEdit

StarringEdit

WritingEdit

ThanksEdit

To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters.

OtherEdit

I think this is a decent ep. At least US wasn't neglected. :P But I'm really excited for next week's ep! :D

Thanks for reading! :D

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