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FINALLY, after 4 months, SHOW HATH RETURNED! :D Pardon that outburst. Anyway, the season 3 premiere of Show! Enjoy! :D

ScriptEdit

  • (Rack, NH, US, Rig, Dep. Mayor and Old Man are on set of the season 2 finale of Show.)
  • Director: And.... cut!
  • US: About time! I've been getting sick and tired of Show!
  • NH: You took the words right out of my mouth! Do you know how many times I'm called "dog" in public?
  • Rack: I've been so exhausted! We only took a one month break and then, bam, back to the next season already!
  • Rig: Oh, come on Grumpy Guses, we had fun, didn't we?
  • All (except Rig): No!
  • Rig: Jeez, you guys didn't need to be so mean...
  • (Rig pulls on a "puppy dog face" and cries.)
  • NH: Oh, great, here we go!
  • Dep. Mayor: You guys have nothing to complain about! You get to be the glamorous stars while I'm shunned! Can I tell you how many times I'm last on everyone's favorite main characters list?! And me and Old Man weren't even in the season finale! That's unfair! Right, Old Man?
  • (Old Man is sleeping.)
  • Old Man: (mumbling in his sleep): Oh yes Perky Pony, I'll take a sugar cube...
  • NH: Main character?
  • (All the main characters laugh hard.)
  • NH: Hey prima donna, you're a recurring character. And you shouldn't even be that!
  • Dep. Mayor: Well, I'm a main character in my mind...
  • Old Man: (waking up): Can you kids shut your holes?! I'm trying to take a good nap! Back in my day...
  • NH: (yanks his mouth): Oh shut it, wheeze bag! And a nap? You're asleep almost the whole day on set! You might as well be "Sleeping Unbeauty".
  • (All characters except Old Man snicker.)
  • Old Man: You know what? I've had enough of you kids! I'm outta here!
  • (Old Man tries to walk with his cane, but takes forever to leave.)
  • NH: 'Kay, we won't miss ya.
  • Dep. Mayor: I'm out too! This show's boring now and almost all the time I have a time of the month!
  • US: Do you?
  • Dep. Mayor: It's personal!
  • (Dep. Mayor runs out, crying, bumping into Old Man and Old Man falls down.)
  • Old Man: My stretch marks....
  • (Dep. Mayor drags Old Man with him, leaving the studio.)
  • US: Fine by me! I won't have a mess to neglect in the bathroom anymore!
  • NH: You know he can't hear you.
  • US: I can dream!
  • Rig: You know? I'm out toosies! I can't take this drama anymore! I'd rather be in the orphanage than be with meanie adults! I know what you do in the bathroom too, NH!
  • (NH whistles.)
  • Rig: Bye jerkies!
  • (Rig leaves.)
  • NH: Ungrateful; ditching her learning over petty yet fun arguments.
  • Rack: You know... she's right, for once. I'm tired of this hostility; I'm done. I've been wanting to try something new anyway.
  • (Rack leaves.)
  • NH: Fine! We don't need you either! Annoying spec of nothing.
  • US: As much as I agree, I'm done too. I'm just gonna do what I do best: be the mayor of USville and never do anything else, not even mayoral duties. See ya later, NY.
  • (US leaves.)
  • NH: Ditching me, eh? Well fine! I don't need any of you! I can have my spin-off, you'll see! You'll all see! Get that thing out of my face!
  • (NH scratches the camera in frustration, breaking it.)
  • Director: (sighs): There goes yet another hit show down the drain, but not because of ratings, amazingly. Oh well, I've been having this idea about a little girl who's a beauty pageant contestant and her family's odd behavior.
  • (A black screen appears, saying: "Four months later".)
  • (The six meet up for the first time since the big argument; Rack now has long hair, NH is now overweight, US is a bit heavier on the stomach, Rig looks exactly the same, Dep. Mayor is in a clown outfit and so is Old Man.)
  • All (except US): You're still pregnant?
  • US: Guys, I told you already, I'm cursed. I'm frozen in time.
  • All (except US): What?
  • US: You guys should really watch more ABC!
  • Rig: But I do! I learned the alphabet when I was gone! K, Z, T, R, J, A, B....
  • US: Oooh, can ya teach me? But, I hope I'm not pregnant for twenty-eight years!
  • All (except US): What?
  • US: Stop judging me!
  • Rack: But anyway, hey dudes! What's uuuuuuuuuuup?
  • US: What's with the voice, Raclk?
  • Rack: I became a rock staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! And please call me Loudmooooooooooooouth!
  • US: Oh, yeah, I heard your music; like a cat being beat up by a fish who's being beat up by a boxer.
  • Rack: Is that a goooooooooooood thing?
  • US: Um, sure.
  • Rack: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
  • US: Right..... so, NH, I see you're a little on the..... obese monster side.
  • NH: I don't see the problem with sweets and the new wolf treat, "Wonderfully Weak in Healthiness for Wolves!" Ugh, my feet hurt just for standing up, let me sit down.
  • (NH sits on Rig.)
  • Rig: (muffled): There's things down there I can't unsee or tell what they are....
  • NH: Ooh, comfy...
  • US: O......kay, so what have you been up to, Riiiiiiig?
  • Rig: (muffled): Not someone's fluffy butt, I know that much......
  • NH: Ah.....
  • Rig: (muffled): How about you?
  • US: Oh, you know, just same old, same old. Avoiding mayoral duties, neglectin' my stuff, hoping for my butt not to tell me to get up......
  • Rig: That's great! But could I get some help?
  • (US gets Rig out.)
  • NH: Aw.
  • Rig: Thank you! I can breathe now!
  • (US winks.)
  • Rack: Coooooool! What have you been doing, Old Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan?
  • Old Man: Stop yelling, whippersnapper! Why back in my day, everyone spoke intelligently and sincerely! Not this yelling that would make a person break into pieces! And cut your hair, it's like a combination of a beatnik, a hippie and Rapunzel!
  • (Old Man shudders.)
  • Rack: Sorry, I'll stop. But what's been going on with ya?
  • Old Man: Well, me and Dep "Glare"-
  • Dep. Mayor: Mayor.
  • Old Man: Right, "Blare" and I are now a clown act! He does the action, I do the jokes! Kids love us!
  • Dep. Mayor: (mumbling): I wish it was the other way around.....
  • Rack: So what should we ha-
  • Dep. Mayor: Hey, nobody asked me what's been going on with me!
  • US: Oh please, we know already, the geezer over there said you two are a clown act.
  • Dep. Mayor: .......I love you when you're right. You know what? We've been stupid! We haven't been the same since we left! Rack, how has your career as a rock star been?
  • Rack: Great actually. I wouldn't trade this for anything at all.
  • Rig: Not even for half of my sandwich?
  • Rack: Done!
  • Rig: Sucker, I would've done it for the fries......
  • Rack: What?
  • Rig: Nothing!
  • (Rig eats fries.)
  • US: (crying happily): That's my puppy!
  • Dep. Mayor: How about you, NH?
  • NH: I don't know, Rig was so comfy down there....
  • Rig: You're free now, forget what you saw down there.....
  • US: My Riiiiiig's traumatized! Darn it! Now you're totes losing weight, fatty!
  • (NH is yanked by US.)
  • NH: Phew, I could lose a pound or two.....
  • US: A pound? Try a thousand!
  • NH: Alright, alright! I'll lose some weight. I haven't made an invention since the show ended anyway. And, I'm only gonna say this once.... I missed you guys. Don't videotape that!
  • (Rig puts down her camera.)
  • Rig: Aw.
  • US: Wait, am I still mayor?
  • Dep. Mayor: From what I've heard, yes.
  • US: I am? Wow. You'd think I woulda been impeached for that business with the guy in the tru--- Man, the voters must love me! I'm in then!
  • Rig: That was fun dealing with Rack.... yeah, me too!
  • Rack: What do ya say, Old Man?
  • Old Man: Cut that hair and I'm in.
  • Rack: Done! I'm glad we're back together!
  • Dep. Mayor: Really?!
  • Rack: Yeah. For the show.
  • Dep. Mayor: Oh. Yeah. The show.
  • (A montage plays of Rack getting rid of his "rock star" clothes and shaving his long hair into his old hairstyle from four months ago; NH loses weight after strenuous exercise and is back to his old look; US is eating a donut, taunting NH by making him work harder for it; Rig does the same; Dep. Mayor ditches his clown outfit and puts on his old cop-eqsue outfit; finally, Old Man also ditches his clown look and goes back to his plaid clothes.)
  • Rack: Hey guys! Back to my old look. Like it?
  • Old Man: It's at least better than that beatnik-hippie-Rapunzel hair.
  • NH: Thanks to Jenny Craig, I lost two-hundred pounds! I even weigh less than I did four months ago! 10 pounds skinnier! And now my old skin is a new robe! Very comfy! Bring on the fire!
  • Rack: Wow, so weight loss does change your brain!
  • US: Yep. That's where they get ya. Mm, these donuts are delush....
  • NH: You can stop taunting me now...
  • US: I know.
  • Rig: Man, hanging out with US and NH again was fun!
  • US: Darn right, Riiiiiiiig.
  • Dep. Mayor: I'm just glad to be back with US, my love.
  • US: Uh huh, yeah, that reminds me, that mess in the bathroom, phew, it's ugly, clean it later babe, 'kay?
  • Dep. Mayor: (thinking): She called me "babe"!
  • Old Man: I'm just glad I'm not alone and damp. Now I have whippersnappers to listen to my wisdom! Why, back in my day....
  • (Everyone except Old Man hush him.)
  • NH: So, uh..... how are we gonna bring the show back?
  • Dep. Mayor: Huh. I didn't think that through....
  • Rack: Hmm.... maybe we should go outside to get some ideas.
  • (The six go outside.)
  • US: This thinking stuff is hard without the writers.....
  • Rack: Hey, guys, look at that sign over there!
  • (Cuts to a sign; the sign says: "The Get Lucky Show" in wood.)
  • NH: A game show? I hate those.
  • Rack: Do you have any other ideas?
  • NH: No.....
  • Rack: Then let's do it! Come on!
  • (Rack goes inside.)
  • US: Wait for me, Raclk! I can't read!
  • (US goes inside as well.)
  • Rig: Zer Globben Blap Yfvgdlyi? Sounds fun!
  • (Rig goes inside too.)
  • Dep. Mayor: If my love loves it, so do I!
  • (Dep. Mayor does inside as well.)
  • Old Man: I got nothin' better to do. Might as well. The whippersnappers need to see my natural old beauty.
  • (Old Man goes in as well.)
  • NH: I smell disaster. And I missed that smell!
  • (NH finally gets inside; now that the gang is inside, the sign falls down, revealing the omitted "Closed" under.)
  • Rack: Wow. It's so dark....
  • (Rack turns on a lightbulb by using a long clicker; it reveals a low-budget game show, with the host sleeping, skeletons of an audience with one sleeping, and a low-budget looking logo and stands, with the logo in wood and stands in cardboard, and a clearly damaged floor with some noticeable holes.)
  • Rack: Well, it has a retro feel at least.....
  • NH: Yeah, if you enjoy the rotting smell of skeletons.
  • Rack: Silly doggie, their skin's already gone!
  • ???: (waking up): Wait...... I can't believe this! People are here! Finally!
  • Rack: Uh... hi there. Who are you?
  • ???: I am Rick Lark, the host of "The Get Lucky Show"! Don't you recognize me?
  • Rack: Never heard of ya.
  • Rick Lark: Oh, I know you won't do well in the competition then.
  • Rack: What?
  • Rick Lark: Oh nothing. Smitty, hurry, before they run away!
  • Smitty: (waking up in the audience): Woo! Hold on, guys!
  • (Smitty goes near the camera and turns it on.)
  • Smitty: It still works!
  • Rick Lark: Perfect! Everyone, go by the stands!
  • (Conveniently, there are six stands.)
  • Rack: So, how are we gonna write our names on those?
  • NH: Easy. Get markers and write our names like Jeopardy!
  • Rick Lark: What's that show?
  • (The six write their names on their stands.)
  • Rack: Um, there's rats in mine....
  • Rick Lark: Oh, don't mind them! They're not much of an annoyance until half of it is gone!
  • (Smitty is signaling that the camera is about to start.)
  • Rick Lark: Ooh, I'm so excited! Haven't done a show since '95! Good luck, all! You're gonna need it.
  • US: But what about the rules of the game?
  • Rick Lark: We'll find out as we go along!
  • Smitty: 3, 2, 1.....
  • (The camera starts rolling.)
  • Rick Lark: Hello, generous people! Welcome to "The Get Lucky Show!"
  • (The wooden logo of the show falls down.)
  • Rick Lark: Anyway........ today, we have six constants competing for.... what are you guys competing for?
  • NH: A million dollars! So much I can do with that money...
  • Rack: Oh, and best character! I'll win, obviously!
  • (All the contestants besides Rack roll their eyes.)
  • Rick Lark: 'Kay...... so a million bucks and who gets to be the best character! Now, remember, if you fail at a challenge, you're outta the game! Sounds like a great shoe! Okay, before we start, introduce yourselves!
  • Rack: Hi! I'm Rack from USville, and if I win a million dollars I'll donate it mostly to charity and save a hundred bucks for myself!
  • NH: Hello simpletons, it is I, NH, and I am here to win a million dollars. Shall, and, clearly, when I win the money, I shall spend it on my inventions and move out of that pigsty I call a house with the human.
  • US: Yo yo yo. I'm US, and if and when I win I'll just keep it in for a rainy day and never use it!
  • Rig: Hi-sies! I'm Rig, and if I win the bucks I'll eat it and see if they turn into the deer kind so I can make deer pie!
  • Dep. Mayor: Uh.... hello there! I'm Deputy Mayor, the lovely mayor US's deputy mayor and I'm here competing! If I win, I'll get a ring so I can get engaged to a special lady!
  • US: Make it an onion ring! Girls love grease!
  • Old Man: (napping): What do you kids want?! Leave me alone! Oh, ya wanna know about me, eh? Well, I'm just a poor, elderly man, and if I win I'll move out of the retirement home, get my own house and swim in a pool of money admiring my late wife....
  • Rick Lark: Aw, great reasons, but now let's get to the game, shall we?
  • Rack: But-
  • Rick Lark: Okay, in the very first challenge today, your goal is to answer these survey questions. The more people that gave the same answer as you in the survey, the more points. Who's first?
  • Rack: NH wants to!
  • NH: You idiot!
  • Rick Lark: Come on up here! Answer the following questions. Number 1, what do you find in a pocket?
  • NH: Squirrel heads.
  • Rick Lark: Question 2, name a holiday.
  • NH: Shoot a squirrel day.
  • Rick Lark: Question 3, name a profession.
  • NH: World Emperor.
  • Rick Lark: Question 4, name a food.
  • NH: Squirrel.
  • Rick Lark: And finally question 5, what's a common goal in life?
  • NH: Easy, same as above.
  • Rick Lark: Okay and your total score is...
  • (A drumroll is heard.)
  • Rick Lark: ....1 point! You only have 249 points to go!
  • Rig: Yay!
  • NH: Shut up.
  • (NH writes "1" on his box.)
  • Rick Lark: Okay, who'll go next?
  • Rack: I'll go!
  • Rick Lark: Such enthusiasm! Come on up! Now, your challenge is.....
  • (Drumroll is heard.)
  • Rick Lark: ....Trying to escape a giant mace from medieval times that could slice your entire body in half and surviving a pepper spray attack!
  • Rack: What?!
  • Rick Lark: (pushes Rack): Go!
  • (The mace is falling and Rack has been exposed to pepper spray.)
  • Rack: Ow! My eyes! I can't see! I can't see! They were wrong, glasses don't shield it! Please tell me the mace isn't under me!
  • (Rack remarkably walks to his stand without being sliced in half; a hair falls off.)
  • Rack: Di-did I win?
  • Rick Lark: Amazingly, yes. 30 points for you.
  • Rack: Good, now I can at least open my eyes...
  • Rick Lark: Okay, now, "May", "Mar", uh, US?
  • US: It's pronounced "You's".
  • Rick Lark: Whatever. Anyway, in order to give you 100 points, you're going to go on this slippery gooey slide of slime, and must stand up with slime all over you. If you succeed, you'll get 100 points. Ready?
  • NH: What?! I only got 1 point and she might get a 100?!
  • US: Not really, I gotta...
  • Rick Lark: Don't care! Go!
  • (US simply walks around the slide.)
  • US: That was easy!
  • ("Wa waaaaaa waaaa" music plays.)
  • Rick Lark: Oh, I'm sorry, but you cheated. You are disqualified from the game.
  • US: What?! You can't disqualify me! I stood up around the slide!
  • Rick Lark: Sorry, see ya never!
  • (Smitty takes her away.)
  • US: Get away from me, or I'll give y'all rabies!
  • (US leaves by force.)
  • Dep. Mayor: Aw, she didn't save her rabies for me.....
  • Rick Lark: Cheaters are horrible. Well, unless you're the one cheating... anyway, Rig, it's your turn!
  • Rig: Yaysies!
  • Rick Lark: So, your question is......
  • (Rick Lark looks perplexed at the cue card.)
  • Rick Lark: ....Who cut the cheese?
  • Rig: Cheese?! Where?! I can make cheese pie with it!
  • Rick Lark: You, uh, pass, I guess. 20 points?
  • Rig: Yay!
  • Rick Lark: So, uh, Dep. Mayor, come!
  • Dep. Mayor: Ooh! I'm so excited! What's my challenge?
  • Rick Lark: Yours is.... taking off your sunglasses apparently. Why are you wearing those inside, anyway?
  • Dep. Mayor: My eyes are sensitive to light, okay?!
  • Rick Lark: Well, you gotta take 'em off if you wanna continue.
  • Dep. Mayor: Fine!
  • (Dep. Mayor throws them off, running away crying to his box.)
  • Rick Lark: Eh, he only took 'em off and covered his eyes. 5 points. Wow, I can't believe it! Round one's almost done! Let's finish it with Old Man!
  • Old Man: I'm doing what now?
  • Rick Lark: Oh, just a challenge. Your challenge will be.... fighting a professional wrestler.
  • Old Man: Pheh, professional. Back in my day, wrestlers were really wrestlers and wrestled until the cows come home, now it's all scripted and planned and they have laughable names like "Hook Hooligan" and "Urge"; back then, we used our birth names proudly and were true champions!
  • Rick Lark: Just do the challenge.
  • Old Man: Gladly. Gonna get rid of that hair-gelled freak and show him who's boss.
  • (Old Man gets in the wrestling ring and suplexes his opponent.)
  • Wrestler: Grandma, is that you up there in Heaven? I'll come there, I can smell cookies....
  • Old Man: Didn't even break a sweat. Forty years without one, baby!
  • Rick Lark: Amazing. 50 points. Well that ends round 1! Old Man is in the lead with 50 points, Rack in second with 30, Rig in third with 20, Dep. in fourth with 5, and NH in last with a whopping 1! While US is, well, outta here!
  • NH: I think this show's rigged. I get 1 point for a mental question but that smelly wheeze bag gets 50 just for wrestling a wrestler that's clearly not one?
  • Rick Lark: You won't do well with that attitude. Anyway, we'll see you fans after this commercial break!
  • NH: Fans? It's just the cameraman sitting in the audience.
  • Rick Lark: Listen buddy, if you don't change your attitude you're gone, alright?
  • NH: Oh, this'll be fun then.
  • Rick Lark: Good.
  • Old Man: Ooh, wrestlin' that whippersnapper made me a little tired... I'll just close my-
  • (Old Man quickly falls asleep and snores.)
  • Rick Lark: Are we back now?
  • Smitty: Yep.
  • Rick Lark: Perfect!
  • (Rack's cardboard box falls in a hole.)
  • Rack: Um, my box is gone...
  • Rick Lark: You can count, can't you? Now shut up, time for round 2! Rack-a-mac, it's your turn again.
  • Rack: Why did you call me that?
  • Rick Lark: Hush, I need the press to know I like the contestants on this show.
  • Rack: Okay Dick.
  • Rick Lark: Rick, idiot! Rick! This is a kids' show! Learn that!
  • Rack: Okay, sorry.....
  • Rick Lark: Anyway, Rack, your challenge will be facing a professional boxer. If you knock out the boxer, you'll get 200 points!
  • NH: This oughta be good.
  • Rack: Uh, I'm not good at strength.....
  • Rick Lark: That's the point! Ready?
  • Rack: No.....
  • Rick Lark: I'll take that as a yes. Go!
  • (The boxer knocks out Rack quickly.)
  • Rick Lark: Ooh, that's gotta sting! Not that I care. You get no points and 1, 2, 3 strikes you're out!
  • Rack: (dazed): Good. I'll just, get in my car and wait until you're done....
  • (Rack leaves by breaking a part of the wall.)
  • Rick Lark: That stuff's not cheap, you know! Ingrate. Now, NH, your turn.
  • NH: I already know this'll be fun.
  • Rick Lark: Your challenge will be..... walking over connected popsicle sticks with dozens of crabs under waiting to pinch you!
  • NH: You call that a challenge? Ha!
  • Rick Lark: Just walk the walk instead of talking the talk.
  • NH: No problem.
  • (NH easily passes the challenge by gently balancing and walking, and taunting at the end by touching the popsicle line lightly with his sharp toenail to "feed the crabs".)
  • Rick Lark: Darn it! Uh, I mean, nice! That's.... 20 points for you.
  • NH: Unfair, but oh well. I'll win no matter what.
  • Rick Lark: Alrighty, Rig, you're up! Your challenge will be.... hm.... uh, I mean, it will be.... a pie eating contest! Can you eat pies in less than a min-
  • (Rig eats all the pies before he finishes his sentence.)
  • Rick Lark: ....100 points. A-maze-ing!
  • Rig: Woo!
  • NH: I smell favoritism.
  • Rick Lark: Oh, don't worry, I hate all of you. Now, Dep. Mayor, come up here!
  • Dep. Mayor: I can't believe I've made it this far! I've done better than US, who I'll win for and Rack! I'm just so excited I could-
  • (Dep. Mayor jumps up and down in joy, but causes a hole to break, falling down.)
  • Dep. Mayor: (voice only): I jinxed it, didn't I?
  • Rick Lark: Yep. Oh well! Less time equals more money! Well, that ends round 2! NH has 21 points while Rig has 120 points!
  • NH: Favoritism.
  • Rick Lark: Who will win in the skull-crushing finale? Let's find out after this commercial break!
  • NH: Well, looks like it's just me and my own figurative flesh and blood. Let's see if you can better your own master, comrade.
  • Rig: Yeah, I've had fun too NHies! Good luck!
  • NH: Ha! Me having good luck? You'll be the one needing that!
  • Rick Lark: Ooh, back already! Goodie! Alright, you two, your final challenge is to jump on your cardboard box. Whoever wins gets a million bucks!
  • NH: I hope you enjoy crying in your treehouse tonight!
  • Rig: At least I won't be in the bathroom!
  • Rick Lark: Ready set go!
  • (The two jump on their boxes; time goes on and the two are still doing it.)
  • NH: (panting): You're good, but not as good as I!
  • Rig: (panting): You sure? My butt's doing just fine!
  • NH: What? Never mind.....
  • Rick Lark: Come on! Someone die! Uh, I mean, drop out! Hm....
  • (Rick Lark pulls out a chainsaw.)
  • Rick Lark: I'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen....
  • (Rick Lark goes under NH's box and saws a whole, causing NH to fall.)
  • Rick Lark: (getting out of hole): Here's your winner: Rig!
  • Rig: Yaaaaaaay! Now I can eat it!
  • NH: This show is crap! The host cheats! I'm out of here! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm staying with Rack in the car! Enjoy your stupid money, idiot!
  • (NH slams the door, causing the entire set to break into pieces.)
  • Rick Lark: Sore loser. I'm just glad it's over.... so, here ya go!
  • Rig: Wooooooo!
  • (Rig eats it but Smitty appears whispering to Rick.)
  • Rick Lark: Oh! Thank you, Smitty. I apologize everyone. Rig is not the winner.
  • Rig: (muffled): Aw, what?
  • Rick Lark: Give.... that.... back....... to.... me!
  • (A battle over the check starts but Rick succeeds, with only half the check remaining.)
  • Rig: Aw!
  • Rick Lark: You see, Old Man is still there, so Rig, if you pass this final final challenge, it's all yours!
  • Rig: I can do it then!
  • Rick Lark: Okay Rig, these light up panels are going to show a path to the other side for 2 seconds. You have to memorize this path and go across. Step off the wrong panel and you're dead! Well, shocked, but close enough! I hope your memory is good! Ready to go?
  • Rig: Ready to go where?
  • Rick Lark: Alrighty, here we go!
  • (A red panel appears; Rig picks the green one and is shocked.)
  • Rick Lark: Ooooooh! I'm sorry, but you're gone! Here is your winner: Old Man!
  • Old Man: (waking up): Huh? Wha? Did I show that young'un who's boss?
  • Rick Lark: Congrats, Old Man! You won the million!
  • Old Man: I did?! Yes! About time you kids saw wisdom! I thought it was long gone but now I know it's still out there! Thank ya, kids!
  • Rig: Unfairsies!
  • (Rig leaves.)
  • Rick Lark: What are you gonna do with the million?
  • Old Man: Swim in a bath of money without a stitch and look at pictures of my darling wife!
  • Rick Lark: ............Ew.
  • Old Man: I'd like to thank my late wife-
  • Rick Lark: Yeah, the show's over now, you're nothing to me now. And: cut!
  • Old Man: Darn kid!
  • (Old Man looks at his check; it turns out it's worth only 100 dollars.)
  • Old Man: You kids make me so mad! Lying and deceiving a poor old man! I'll keep the check, but I'll gladly never see ya again! I'm gonna go home!
  • Rick Lark: But Rig ate the-
  • Old Man: Oh shut your hole!
  • (Old Man hits Rick Lark with the check, making him unconscious.)
  • Old Man: Kids these days....
  • (Old Man leaves.)
  • Smitty: Is... is he?
  • (Smitty feels Rick's pulse.)
  • Smitty: Yes! Finally! I'm free! Hahahhaha!
  • (Smitty laughs crazily and runs away.)
  • (The six get into Rack's car; Rack drives the six home.)
  • Rack: I'm so glad that's over...
  • NH: Indeed. I knew it was a waste of time, but did any of you listen? Nope.
  • US: Stupid show. How dare they eliminate me first?!
  • Rig: One word: Unfairsies.
  • Dep. Mayor: Now I'll never be able to find a ring....
  • US: Dude, just get an onion ring; cheap, greasy, delicious, edible, fits.
  • Dep. Mayor: You're a life saver!
  • US: Yep.
  • (US winks.)
  • Old Man: That host was just ungrateful. But I at least got some money!
  • Rack: What are you gonna do with that money, anyway?
  • Old Man: Get a bath tub filled with money and look at my wife. And.... I'll give the other 50 to bring back the show, but only because I'm feeling generous.
  • Rig: Old Man, you're the best!
  • Old Man: This kid's got the right noggin.
  • (Cut to Old Man in the bathtub with money covering him, as he is naked; he looks at old pictures of his wife, admiring them with his great missing of her.)
  • Old Man: I love this, but it's missing something...
  • (Old Man adds a picture of the six: Rack smiles largely, NH does "rabbit ears" behind Rack, US eats, Rig has her tongue out, Dep. Mayor is camera shy and Old Man has his cane, smiling, something he rarely does.)
  • Old Man: Much better.
  • (Old Man smiles once more.)
  • THE END.

CreditsEdit

StarringEdit

WritingEdit

ThanksEdit

To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters.

OtherEdit

I think this is one of my favorites ever and my favorite season premiere! This is one of, if not the, longest Show ep and despite that, it was still fun to write! Also, congrats to Kait for working on her official first ep as a staff member (without her, the game show's name wouldn't be "The Get Lucky Show")! :D

I hope you enjoyed it guys! I sure did, I think I and the Show cast did awesome for not writing it for four months lol; thanks for reading either way! :D

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