The eleventh episode of the second season. Enjoy!


  • (Inside a hospital. The nameplate says "Dr. Bumlips" with patients waiting in the waiting room.)
  • Woman: What's taking him so long?! My son's already stopped bleeding! And haven't I seen you two before?
  • Secretary: Yep, we got fired. Whatever.
  • (The secretary chews gum.)
  • Woman: Ugh!
  • (The woman and her son leave.)
  • Secretary: Whatever. Uh, Mr. Dick, you're up.
  • Mr. Dick: Thank you.
  • Secretary: Whatever.
  • (The secretary chews many packs of gum.)
  • (Dr. Bumlips's previous patient walks out.)
  • Patient: The hands, the hands! The cold hands. I'll never be the same again....
  • Mr. Dick: Well I'm sure he's not that bad........
  • (Mr. Dick enters. Dr. Bumlips is sawing a light with a chainsaw.)
  • Nurse: Dr. Bumlips, what are you doing?!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Trying to get this pesky light out of my eyes.
  • (The light falls on the ground, broken.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Ah, that's better. Oh, hello, uh......
  • Mr. Dick: Mr. Dick.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Nice name! What do you think of mine?
  • Nurse: Oh dear.........
  • Mr. Dick: It's, uh, interesting to say the least.
  • Dr. Bumlips Thank ya! Now, let's have a check up!
  • Mr. Dick: Wait, I'm only here to-.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Let me see your brain.
  • (Dr. Bunlips tries to pull out Mr. Dick's brain through his nose.)
  • (The Nurse facepalms.)
  • Mr. Dick: What on Earth are you doing?!
  • Dr. Bumlips: I just wanna see if your brain is healthy!
  • Mr. Dick: It's quite fine, thank you!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Good. Hm....... can't seem to find your tail here......
  • Mr. Dick: That's because I'm not an animal!
  • Dr. Bumlips: No need to worry, let me get my X-ray!
  • (Dr. Bumlips gets an X-ray; he examines Mr. Dick's bones.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: This is odd........
  • Mr. Dick: What?
  • Dr. Bumlips: You don't have many animal bones inside you.
  • Mr. Dick: That's because I'm not one.
  • (The Nurse facepalms.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Hm.........
  • Mr. Dick: Excuse me, it's pretty hot in here.
  • (Mr. Dick takes his coat off.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: How did you do that?!
  • Mr. Dick: I took it off.......
  • Dr. Bumlips: Didn't that hurt to take off?
  • Mr. Dick: No.........
  • Dr. Bumlips: But you're an animal!
  • Mr. Dick: No I am not! The only hair I have is on my back!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Oh, really? Let me examine that........
  • Nurse: Here we go........
  • (An hour later.)
  • Mr. Dick: Thanks, now I'm hairless!
  • Dr. Bumlips: You started it by taking your coat off!
  • Nurse: Yes, kids, this is a day in the life of Dr. Bumlips.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Hm, you seem to be quite an old animal for your age to have kids....... let's neuter you!
  • Nurse: Ooh, my favorite part.
  • Mr. Dick: Uh oh........
  • (Cut to the waiting room; sounds of hammers, saws, chainsaws, knives, and so on is heard in the doctor's office.)
  • Daughter: Mommy, what's that sound?
  • Woman #2: I have no idea, sweetheart.
  • Secretary: Eh, it's his daily neutering. Whatever.
  • (The secretary chugs a big bag of gum in her mouth.)
  • Daughter: What's that word mean, mommy?
  • Woman #2: You'll learn it when you're older when your husband ditches you and leaves you with a kid and decides to have no more kids and-. Uh, I mean, let's go get some pizza!
  • (The mom and her child leave.)
  • (Mr. Dick comes out.)
  • Mr. Dick: There goes me being a dad.........
  • (Mr. Dick leaves.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Ah, he's so happy now.
  • Nurse: Mm-hm.
  • (A sign appears saying "And now, the characters you actually want to see".)
  • (An ambulance appears. Rack, NH, US and Rig are on stretchers, unconscious.)
  • (Another sign appears saying "Well, we did say they'd appear", with the troll face under the words.)
  • (The ambulance rushes inside the hospital with the four. They burst in Dr. Bumlips's office.)
  • Nurse: Oh my! What happened to them?!
  • Ambulance Man: Apparently, the cause is "Bad writing"?
  • Nurse: That's new. Anyway, Bumlips, we must hurry!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Not quite yet.
  • Nurse: But it's an emergency!
  • Dr. Bumlips: So's this! My window's closed!
  • (The Nurse opens it.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Thanks! So what's the emergency?
  • Nurse: I don't know, they just told me "Bad writing".
  • Dr. Bumlips: Oh dear, this is serious! We must operate right away!
  • (Later. Dr. Bumlips and his Nurse are in their room, letting the four rest.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: (pointing at human body chart): So this is where the brain is, right? (points at groin)
  • Nurse: No, the brain is here! (moves Bumlips's finger to the head)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Ah. So, the chest is here? (points at foot)
  • Nurse: No........ (moves Bumlips's finger to the correct area)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Ah, and the teeth are here? (points at armpit)
  • (The Nurse facepalms.)
  • (A montage plays of Bumlips pointing at the incorrect body parts while the Nurse corrects him.)
  • Nurse: (exhausted): Okay, I think we should get the surgery done.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Good idea.
  • (Cut to Dr. Bumlips and the Nurse doing the surgery.)
  • Nurse: Shouldn't we wear sterile clothing?
  • Dr. Bumlips: But we're too young to be neutered.
  • (The Nurse looks at the audience, unamused.)
  • Nurse: Never mind. Now let's start.
  • Dr. Bumlips: First, let's clean the blo-.
  • (The sponges fall inside their bodies.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Whoopsie! Let's try the needle-.
  • (The needles also fall inside their bodies.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Third time's the charm-.
  • (Scissors fall into their bodies.)
  • Nurse: How about I handle the utensils?
  • Dr. Bumlips: Okie dokie!
  • (The Nurse carries the utensils but trips, and all the utensils fall in the four's bodies.)
  • Nurse: Oh no!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Well, at least we used them.
  • Nurse: Are they good?
  • (Dr. Bumlips sees the monitor saying "NOT GOOD".)
  • Dr. Bumlips: They're perfectly fine!
  • Nurse: Good! They're safe! Now let's stitch them up.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Alright!
  • (Dr. Bumlips stitches the four up with sponges.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: It'll absorb the blood!
  • Nurse: It's something....... now let's wait for them to wake up.
  • (An hour later.)
  • Rack: Huh, my sinuses are clear!
  • NH: I want piggies and pizza! If I don't get them, I'll pootie!
  • US: Where am I? Last I remember I was at a meeting and this metal thing hit my head........
  • Rig: Idiotic chap you are, NH. You're lucky I'm around to take over the world!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Success!
  • Nurse: What a lame episode and running gags.
  • Secretary: (noticeably fat): Whatever. (burps)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Shush! We need that spin off!
  • (The Nurse facepalms.)
  • THE END.





To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters.


Sorry if this wasn't too good. Let's just say writer's block is a monster. But, I liked this one. It's a neat episode, but I can't wait for next week's! It even has a user guest star in it! :D And I'm so excited for that I decided to give y'all a sneak peak!

Promo For Next EpisodeEdit

  • (An unknown person sees a turkey in the fridge.)
  • ???: Ah, perfect. Wolfie, give me the bird.
  • NH: As much as I want to and love to I can't because I have these little people called censors following my every movement. Apparently, "it's a kids' show".

Well, hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading! :D

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