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The eleventh episode of the second season. Enjoy!

ScriptEdit

  • (Inside a hospital. The nameplate says "Dr. Bumlips" with patients waiting in the waiting room.)
  • Woman: What's taking him so long?! My son's already stopped bleeding! And haven't I seen you two before?
  • Secretary: Yep, we got fired. Whatever.
  • (The secretary chews gum.)
  • Woman: Ugh!
  • (The woman and her son leave.)
  • Secretary: Whatever. Uh, Mr. Dick, you're up.
  • Mr. Dick: Thank you.
  • Secretary: Whatever.
  • (The secretary chews many packs of gum.)
  • (Dr. Bumlips's previous patient walks out.)
  • Patient: The hands, the hands! The cold hands. I'll never be the same again....
  • Mr. Dick: Well I'm sure he's not that bad........
  • (Mr. Dick enters. Dr. Bumlips is sawing a light with a chainsaw.)
  • Nurse: Dr. Bumlips, what are you doing?!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Trying to get this pesky light out of my eyes.
  • (The light falls on the ground, broken.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Ah, that's better. Oh, hello, uh......
  • Mr. Dick: Mr. Dick.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Nice name! What do you think of mine?
  • Nurse: Oh dear.........
  • Mr. Dick: It's, uh, interesting to say the least.
  • Dr. Bumlips Thank ya! Now, let's have a check up!
  • Mr. Dick: Wait, I'm only here to-.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Let me see your brain.
  • (Dr. Bunlips tries to pull out Mr. Dick's brain through his nose.)
  • (The Nurse facepalms.)
  • Mr. Dick: What on Earth are you doing?!
  • Dr. Bumlips: I just wanna see if your brain is healthy!
  • Mr. Dick: It's quite fine, thank you!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Good. Hm....... can't seem to find your tail here......
  • Mr. Dick: That's because I'm not an animal!
  • Dr. Bumlips: No need to worry, let me get my X-ray!
  • (Dr. Bumlips gets an X-ray; he examines Mr. Dick's bones.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: This is odd........
  • Mr. Dick: What?
  • Dr. Bumlips: You don't have many animal bones inside you.
  • Mr. Dick: That's because I'm not one.
  • (The Nurse facepalms.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Hm.........
  • Mr. Dick: Excuse me, it's pretty hot in here.
  • (Mr. Dick takes his coat off.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: How did you do that?!
  • Mr. Dick: I took it off.......
  • Dr. Bumlips: Didn't that hurt to take off?
  • Mr. Dick: No.........
  • Dr. Bumlips: But you're an animal!
  • Mr. Dick: No I am not! The only hair I have is on my back!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Oh, really? Let me examine that........
  • Nurse: Here we go........
  • (An hour later.)
  • Mr. Dick: Thanks, now I'm hairless!
  • Dr. Bumlips: You started it by taking your coat off!
  • Nurse: Yes, kids, this is a day in the life of Dr. Bumlips.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Hm, you seem to be quite an old animal for your age to have kids....... let's neuter you!
  • Nurse: Ooh, my favorite part.
  • Mr. Dick: Uh oh........
  • (Cut to the waiting room; sounds of hammers, saws, chainsaws, knives, and so on is heard in the doctor's office.)
  • Daughter: Mommy, what's that sound?
  • Woman #2: I have no idea, sweetheart.
  • Secretary: Eh, it's his daily neutering. Whatever.
  • (The secretary chugs a big bag of gum in her mouth.)
  • Daughter: What's that word mean, mommy?
  • Woman #2: You'll learn it when you're older when your husband ditches you and leaves you with a kid and decides to have no more kids and-. Uh, I mean, let's go get some pizza!
  • (The mom and her child leave.)
  • (Mr. Dick comes out.)
  • Mr. Dick: There goes me being a dad.........
  • (Mr. Dick leaves.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Ah, he's so happy now.
  • Nurse: Mm-hm.
  • (A sign appears saying "And now, the characters you actually want to see".)
  • (An ambulance appears. Rack, NH, US and Rig are on stretchers, unconscious.)
  • (Another sign appears saying "Well, we did say they'd appear", with the troll face under the words.)
  • (The ambulance rushes inside the hospital with the four. They burst in Dr. Bumlips's office.)
  • Nurse: Oh my! What happened to them?!
  • Ambulance Man: Apparently, the cause is "Bad writing"?
  • Nurse: That's new. Anyway, Bumlips, we must hurry!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Not quite yet.
  • Nurse: But it's an emergency!
  • Dr. Bumlips: So's this! My window's closed!
  • (The Nurse opens it.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Thanks! So what's the emergency?
  • Nurse: I don't know, they just told me "Bad writing".
  • Dr. Bumlips: Oh dear, this is serious! We must operate right away!
  • (Later. Dr. Bumlips and his Nurse are in their room, letting the four rest.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: (pointing at human body chart): So this is where the brain is, right? (points at groin)
  • Nurse: No, the brain is here! (moves Bumlips's finger to the head)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Ah. So, the chest is here? (points at foot)
  • Nurse: No........ (moves Bumlips's finger to the correct area)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Ah, and the teeth are here? (points at armpit)
  • (The Nurse facepalms.)
  • (A montage plays of Bumlips pointing at the incorrect body parts while the Nurse corrects him.)
  • Nurse: (exhausted): Okay, I think we should get the surgery done.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Good idea.
  • (Cut to Dr. Bumlips and the Nurse doing the surgery.)
  • Nurse: Shouldn't we wear sterile clothing?
  • Dr. Bumlips: But we're too young to be neutered.
  • (The Nurse looks at the audience, unamused.)
  • Nurse: Never mind. Now let's start.
  • Dr. Bumlips: First, let's clean the blo-.
  • (The sponges fall inside their bodies.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Whoopsie! Let's try the needle-.
  • (The needles also fall inside their bodies.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Third time's the charm-.
  • (Scissors fall into their bodies.)
  • Nurse: How about I handle the utensils?
  • Dr. Bumlips: Okie dokie!
  • (The Nurse carries the utensils but trips, and all the utensils fall in the four's bodies.)
  • Nurse: Oh no!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Well, at least we used them.
  • Nurse: Are they good?
  • (Dr. Bumlips sees the monitor saying "NOT GOOD".)
  • Dr. Bumlips: They're perfectly fine!
  • Nurse: Good! They're safe! Now let's stitch them up.
  • Dr. Bumlips: Alright!
  • (Dr. Bumlips stitches the four up with sponges.)
  • Dr. Bumlips: It'll absorb the blood!
  • Nurse: It's something....... now let's wait for them to wake up.
  • (An hour later.)
  • Rack: Huh, my sinuses are clear!
  • NH: I want piggies and pizza! If I don't get them, I'll pootie!
  • US: Where am I? Last I remember I was at a meeting and this metal thing hit my head........
  • Rig: Idiotic chap you are, NH. You're lucky I'm around to take over the world!
  • Dr. Bumlips: Success!
  • Nurse: What a lame episode and running gags.
  • Secretary: (noticeably fat): Whatever. (burps)
  • Dr. Bumlips: Shush! We need that spin off!
  • (The Nurse facepalms.)
  • THE END.

CreditsEdit

StarringEdit

WritingEdit

ThanksEdit

To New Heathera, Utter solitude and Rigbybestie1510 for being the inspirations to the corresponding characters.

OtherEdit

Sorry if this wasn't too good. Let's just say writer's block is a monster. But, I liked this one. It's a neat episode, but I can't wait for next week's! It even has a user guest star in it! :D And I'm so excited for that I decided to give y'all a sneak peak!

Promo For Next EpisodeEdit

  • (An unknown person sees a turkey in the fridge.)
  • ???: Ah, perfect. Wolfie, give me the bird.
  • NH: As much as I want to and love to I can't because I have these little people called censors following my every movement. Apparently, "it's a kids' show".

Well, hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading! :D

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