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This is the transcript for "The Toast Burner of Doom".

ScriptEdit

  • (NH is looking at his billboard of failed plans.)
  • NH: I may have failed at my plans 1,251 times, but I have a feeling this plan won't fail. What I need is a type of device to give me the ability to read other's minds, and then I'll be unstoppable! (NH laughs maniacally, and then coughs.) Hm, I need some help to build the machine. But who? Ah, yes, my servant.
  • (Cut to NH walking in the woods.)
  • NH: Servant! I need you!
  • (Rig comes out of bush.)
  • Rig: Yeeeeeeees?
  • NH: I need you to help me build my evil superweapon of DOOM.
  • Rig: Okie dokie. Just let me finish flying with the squirrels!
  • NH: What?! How many times do I have to tell you?! The squirrels are our enemy!
  • Rig: I thought the mayor was our enemy.
  • NH: The squirrels are a different enemy. A squirrely enemy......of squirrels. Now come!
  • Rig: Aw, I gotta go squirrels, see you later!
  • (NH and Rig leave the woods and head inside Rack's house.)
  • Rig: So, what is it? A toaster?
  • NH: No Rig. How can I rule the world with a toaster?
  • Rig: I dunno. You could be the ruler of bread.
  • NH: I don't want to!
  • Rig: When it's done, can we put toast in it?!
  • NH: Absolutely not!
  • Rig: But it's a toaster!
  • NH: No, it-. Wait a minute. Yes, yes it is.
  • Rig: Yay!
  • (Rig moves around on the floor.)
  • NH: (facepalm): I need an aspirin.
  • (A montage plays of the two building the machine.)
  • NH: Well, it's finished, so let's not let science wait.
  • Rig: Okie dokie. Just let me lick this snow cone.
  • (10 minutes later.)
  • NH: Are you almost done?
  • Rig: Yep.
  • (30 minutes later.)
  • NH: Rig! Push the button! Now!
  • Rig: The huh?
  • NH: The button of the machine.
  • Rig: What machine?
  • NH: Why did I pick you as my servant?
  • Rig: Dunno. But look at my tongue!
  • (Rig shows her tongue, which is blue.)
  • NH: Yes, yes, that's brilliant, but just press the button!
  • Rig: Okie dokie.
  • (Rig goes by the button on the machine.)
  • Rig: Ooh, is that the hole?
  • (Rig puts bread in the hole.)
  • Rig: Yay! Make me a toastie!
  • (Rig pushes the button. The machine then malfunctions, and explodes.)
  • NH: What happened?! Why do I not feel any different?!
  • Rig: Well, I gotta go fly with the squirrels, K?
  • (Rig leaves.)
  • NH: That imbecile must've ruined the machine somehow. Sigh, time to add it to the list.
  • (NH adds it to his list of failed plans. Cut to NH in the kitchen.)
  • Rack: Ready for breakfast, NH?
  • NH: Don't talk to me, human. I detest breakfast.
  • Rack: Aw, what's wrong grumpy Gus?!
  • NH: You'll see what grumpy is in a minute.
  • Rack: Aw, is someone cranky?
  • NH: Yes, very. Even more so with you around!
  • Rack: Aw, I know something to cheer you up!
  • NH: What?
  • (Rack goes away for a moment and brings out puppets.)
  • Rack: A puppet show.
  • NH: Yay. What's next? Let's Bury NH Alive? Because I'd find that more pleasant.
  • (Later....... Rack is in the kitchen, while NH is in the living room.)
  • Rack: I'm so glad NH liked the puppet show!
  • NH: I hate that human. Treating me like a monkey.
  • Rack: (making sandwich): Ah, bread. Soft and white, just the way I like it. Oops, forgot something. *leaves*
  • NH: That human makes me so mad I could-.
  • (Rack's bread suddenly burns.)
  • NH: What is this?!
  • (NH amazingly makes all of the bread in a bag stay in mid air.)
  • NH: Do I have a superpower of some kind?
  • (NH concentrates on a piece of bread and turns it into toast.)
  • NH: Yes! Yes! Yeeeeeeeeeeeees! I must use my new ability for evil! I. Am. Super. WOLF! Muhahahahhahahahhahahahhahah! I must use my new ability all over the town!
  • (NH leaves.)
  • (NH is outside.)
  • NH: I am Super Wolf, hear me howl! (Howls)
  • Rack: Why is my bread burnt? Hm, maybe I should go to US about this.
  • (Rack heads down to US's office.)
  • US: Oh, good, is my butt comforter here yet?! I need my butt comfy.
  • Rack: Um, no. It's me, Rack.
  • US: Raclk! Why are you here?
  • Rack: Look at what happened to my bread. *Holds up a piece of toast*
  • US: What is this amazing creation? Crispy, blackened bread? I shall call you......toast! I just invented a new food!
  • Rack: Uh, toast already exists.
  • US: What do you mean?! Who stole my wonderful idea?!
  • Rack: Anyways.......
  • US: No, not anyways! I must find who stole my brilliant idea!
  • Rack: But US-. Meh.
  • (Rack leaves.)
  • (US goes in her closet.)
  • US(Voice only): No one steals my ideas and gets away with it!
  • (US gets out wearing a ball gown.)
  • Dep Mayor: Why are you wearing a ball gown?
  • US: Well, I need to look my best when I pwn.
  • Dep Mayor: Huh?
  • US: Doesn't matter. Anyway, get me some juice and noodles at the store as my victory dinner.
  • Dep Mayor: Why?
  • US: 'Cause I want you to.
  • Dep Mayor: What if I don't want to?
  • US: If you don't go to the store, and pick me up juice and noodles, I will shoot you in the knee.
  • Dep Mayor: Well, I do like my kneecaps...........
  • US: Here's a little tip: Don't mess with me. If you do, say goodbye to something you love.
  • Dep Mayor: Yes sir-ma'am!
  • US: That's more like it! Get me a butt comforter too! See ya later!
  • (US leaves.)
  • (Meanwhile, NH is terrorizing the town.)
  • NH: Hahahahahhahahahha! Enjoy your burnt sammich!
  • US: Hey!
  • NH: Ugh, US, what are you doing here?!
  • US: I'd like to ask you the same question. Why did you steal my idea?!
  • NH: Huh?
  • US: Don't you 'huh" me! Do you know who you're talking to?!
  • NH: Someone insane.
  • US: Alright, that's it! Dance battle! Now!
  • NH: Huh?
  • US: (Dances): I'm doing better than you!
  • NH: (Shrugs): Time to burn more sammiches!
  • US(Dancing): You should just give up! You're talking to the 10 time Dance Champion of the World!
  • (NH, ignoring US, is turning all the bread in town into toast.)
  • US: (Dancing, grabbing out butter): I know something that'll make him slip! Good thing I always keep butter in my pocket!
  • (US throws the butter.)
  • NH: Yes, enjoy your burnt sammich too! (The butter gets in his eyes) Ah, my weakness! My eyes! My beautiful eyes! My beautiful, precious eyes! They burn!
  • US: Ha, I knew I'd win!
  • Dep Mayor: (Unenthusiastic): Here's your victory dinner.
  • US: Yes! (Eats/Drinks it all immediately)
  • Dep Mayor: Time for your nap.
  • US: Aw, just a few more minutes!
  • Dep Mayor: Nope.
  • US: Fine.
  • (US and Dep Mayor leave.)
  • NH: No! My power! Gone! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
  • (Rig pops up eating a snow cone.)
  • Rig: Wanna snow cone? It has manure in it!
  • NH: I'll pass. But, Super Wolf will return AGAIN! YOU WILL SEE! YOU'LL ALL SEE!
  • Rig: C'mon, you know you want it!
  • NH: Rig, don't ruin my dramatic moments!
  • THE END.

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