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This is the transcript for the episode "Why Rack Does Stuff for US".

ScriptEdit

  • (Rack and NH are in the kitchen.)
  • (The phone rings.)
  • US: (voice only): Raclk, NH, come over here!
  • NH: Oh what now? I'm trying to write my plan of world domination.
  • Rack: Come on, let's go!
  • (NH sighs and follows.)
  • (They go in her office.)
  • US: Finally! I thought I would die!
  • NH: What's the big problem?
  • US: My clock.............is one minute off! Horrible, I know.
  • NH: That's it?
  • US: What do you mean "that's it"? Thing could have killed me.
  • NH: I can't wait when I rule the world.
  • Rack: Don't worry US. I'll fix it.
  • (Rack fixes it.)
  • US: Thanks so much Raclk! You're so itter! Always fixing things!
  • Rack: (blushing): Well, see ya around!
  • (The two leave.)
  • NH: Hey, how come you help US with everything?
  • Rack: Well, it's a long story.
  • NH: How so?
  • Rack: Alright. Here's the story.
  • (Flashback: Rack and US are right next to each other. A building is about to fall on Rack.)
  • (Rack screams but is pushed out of the way by US and US quickly gets out of the way.)
  • Rack: Whoa..............you saved my life. Is there any way I can repay you?
  • US: Hm............ you could be my personal servant for the rest of my life.
  • Rack: Anything. I have eternal servitude.
  • (Flashback ends.)
  • NH: Whoa, you really agreed?
  • Rack: She saved my life. It's the least I can do.
  • NH: So humble yet so stupid. I mean, besides that, when was the last time she helped you?
  • Rack: Well, there was that one t-.........no. Huh! She helped me when... nah. She gave me tips with..........oh, who am I kidding?! She hasn't helped me at all besides saving me!
  • NH: Exactly. I'd quit now if I were you.
  • Rack: You know what, you're right. I'll do that.
  • (The two leave for home.)
  • (The next day. Rack heads to her office alone.)
  • US: Oh, hello Raclk. How's my servant doing?
  • Rack: I'm quitting.
  • US: You're what?
  • Rack: That's right, I'm quitting. I mean, besides saving my life, when have you helped me?
  • US: Raclk, we had a deal. You violated it. Now, I must take care of you. (Jumps from desk and right next to him.)
  • Rack: Wait, we're gonna have a fight?
  • US: Why not?
  • Rack: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't want to fight you.
  • US: Ah, but I want to fight you.
  • Rack: I don't want to fight women, especially pregnant women.
  • US: You saying this pregnant woman can't take a punch? Cause she can take one or two. Come on, let's dance!
  • Rack: I'm not fighting you, that's final.
  • US: (Makes chicken noises and movements): Buck, buck, buck! Chicken! Chicken! Someone's too sissy to fight a pregnant woman!
  • Rack: Let's go.
  • US: That's more like it! Now should I get first move or you?
  • Rack: Ladies first.
  • US: Alrighty then.
  • (The two battle and destroy the office in the process.)
  • US: You're going to lose Raclk.
  • Rack: Oh I beg to differ.
  • (The two then fight through the window and break the glass and fall on the ground.)
  • US: Any last words Raclk?
  • (NH is up in a tree with a weapon.)
  • NH: Ah. Thanks to the town's idiotic method of making people mayors, they'll see poor US dead on the ground and then ask me to be mayor. Can't wait for the imbecile to go away. Now, to take care-. (Hears squirrel.) Squirrel!
  • (NH uses his custom weapon to shoot US, but is distracted by the squirrel and shoots earlier than expected. However, Rack hears the bullet coming.)
  • US: What's wrong, Raclk? Too scared?
  • Rack: Watch out!
  • (Pushes US out of the way and bullet goes in Rack's arm.)
  • Rack: Ah!
  • US: Raclk........ you saved my life. Is there anything I can do?
  • NH: (with dead squirrel in mouth): Whoops. He he. (Quietly leaves.)
  • Rack: Yes, there is. Please take me to the hospital. (Rack goes unconscious.)
  • (Cut to the hospital. Rack is alright, with a bandage on his arm.)
  • Doctor: He'll be fine. He also risked his life for the mayor thanks to a heartless assassin.
  • NH: (whistles and hides weapon.)
  • Doctor: Anyway, you're free to go.
  • (The three leave.)
  • US: Anything else I can do?
  • Rack: Yep, we're even, so, I'm no longer your servant.
  • US: Aw.......but you're so helpful.
  • Rack: I'll still help. Just not be your servant. But, my question is, who was the assassin?
  • US: I don't know Raclk. I guess we'll never know.
  • NH: (thinking): She may have won this time, but she'll go down eventually.
  • THE END.

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